They Call Me Mr Rose
by Lost Legendaerie
Summary: Drew Rose is an elite agent who must save the world and his girlfriend from a notorious villan, a giant foe, and the all consuming power of the cliche! Rated for violence, language, and some suggestive themes.
1. Beware the bored romantics!

Ok, so I lost a bet, and now I've got to write a Bond parody. And, what with it being around Valentines Day, I figured, why not a little Contestshippy one?

So, here goes! (Hey, it was this, or include a Monty Python reference in every story I write from here on out. )

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokemon, James Bond, Monty Python, DMFA, or anything else I use or refrance to in here. There. Happy?

T--T

One

Drew's Roselia leaned against the doorway, watching her coordinator sleeping. Pokemon College was rough on him, and boring for her. It was February, around Valentines Day, and Roselia was thinking about a romance for her trainer.

"Ros-eh-ly, rosa rose... " She mused. May and Drew would be the sweetest couple...

She could see them now, saving the world one Pokemon at a time, vigilantes, or even better.. SPIES!!

Suddenly, she had an idea. "Rosa rose Rosali-aaahh... rosy rosel! " I know! I'll write a romantic spy story on Drew's computer, then send it to May, she think it's from him, and... YES! Their romance will blossom!!

Roselia gazed raptly at the computer, entranced with her plan... until she realized she did not have hands.

"Rosy rose... " I need an accomplice... Bingo!

She dashed into the hallway, finding Blaziken after a second of searching. May's Pokemon was standing outside of Drew's door, wrists flaming as he prepared to scorch a word into the wall, most likely a profanity. He's got hands, she thought, he can write it all up for me...

Wait.. He would never help me set them up together.. But if he though it was a prank!

"Rose rosy, roselia, rosa rosy rosel! " Hastily she explained her plan to the fire Pokemon. He paused for a moment, then nodded.

"Blaze blazi ken ken... Iken! " If you let me be in it, yes!

"Rosel!! " Let's go!

T--T

The sunlight shone down on Slateport beach, warming the sands and nicely tanning a green haired, lumpy -

( Blaziken gave Roselia an amused glance. I think the term you are looking for is muscular, not lumpy. Roselia dismissed him. Lumpy, muscular, it all sounds the same to me. )

- green haired, muscular middle aged man. His name was Drew Rose. He leaned back in his chair, soaking up the sunlight, a faint smile tingeing his face as he remarked to his partner Roselia, "Feels nice to be on vacation, eh Roselia? "

"Rosel rosa... " she replied drowsily. Yeah, really nice.

Suddenly, there was a buzzing beep, and Drew sighed as he pulled out a sleek cell phone.

"Hello? "

"Get dressed, Mr. Rose. You've got a job to do. "

The green haired man groaned as he sat up straight, grabbing his bag as he did so, and nodding to Roselia.

"This better be good, M. I'm on vacation, remember? "

The voice on the other side of the line was tinged heavily with sarcasm. "Well, sorry for disturbing you when the world has got to be saved. "

"Didn't I just save it a week ago? " Drew replied as he headed for the changing rooms.

"Heh. Touche. " The teenage boy pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Shipyard in five. "

"Got it. " Drew buttoned his white shirt up, hanging up the phone.

"Rosel rosa? " The Pokemon could be heard from outside the wooden door.

"No, I'm not done yet. "

"Rose roselia rosy, " she remarked cynically.

"Oh, quit it. All you have to do is put on sunglasses. I have to get on a suit. " Drew put on his sunglasses as well, stuffed his swimsuit back in his bag, then the partners left the changing room, looking completely different and out of place.

Drew knocked on the door to the old shipyard, waited a second, then kicked down the door.

"No manners and no patience. Hello, Mr. Rose. "

Drew took a seat opposite Max. "Well, what's the crisis this time? "

"Harley again. Busted out of jail by shonen-ai-ing the guards to death. " Max stated. (DMFA reference)

"How does someone... No, wait, don't answer that question. "

Max suppressed a cold laugh. "Anyway, I though you might want this mission. "

"Well, I don't like Harley, but there are a lot of people in this department who'd want a crack at him, so.. "

"He's kidnapped May. We don't know whether she's alive, dead.. or worse... "

"Ah. I'm glad you called me in for this. "

"I though you'd want to save your girlfriend. " Max frowned ever so slightly. He had never liked his sister dating the most arrogant and annoying agent they had. Still, Drew was the best agent, and if anyone could save May, it would be him.

"Heh. Hey, M... "

"Yes? "

Drew's gaze grew cold. "Do I have permission to use unnecessary force to bring him in? "

"Normally, no, but considering the circumstances and off the record, go right ahead. Now, back to the mission. Harley's base is in the desert, in the shape of a Cacturn's head. "

"Sounds easy to find. What's the catch? "

"It's underground, and the desert is a Pokemon preserve. That means PPP won't let us scan the earth or anything. You're going to have to dig up most of the desert. With a shovel. "

"No gadgets? But.. All spies get gadgets!! "

"Hey, look at this way, lover boy, you can work on your tan. " Max chuckled nastily.

"I swear, sarcasm is a requirement of joining this department. "

Max gave his sister's boyfriend a cold grin. "Remember, it's because of you I joined... "

Drew sighed. How could he forget? He had been dating May while in the department, and gotten careless. She had discovered his 'profession' and followed him to one of the meeting points a couple years ago. She had already told Max, and the department was willing and able to kill them both to keep the departments existence unknown, but at the last minute, Drew had convinced the department to hire them. May had become a master of hidden weaponry, and Max was a technical genius, both invaluable agents. All because Drew had gotten very drunk and dropped a hint about his next meeting place. He would never forget the scolding and suspension that had followed. Ever.

Max absently threw him a knife. "Oh, yeah the bosses told me to give this to you. "

Drew caught the blade by its blue titanium blade. "No guns? "

Max tapped the cubic zirconia pommel stone, and the handle slid a small extension out along the blade that was shaped like a tube, and another extension like a handle and trigger.

"No guns that anyone knows about. And here's your shovel. Now, don't go shooting up anything."

It was a boring, cheap, standard type shovel. Drew sighed. "You're really serious about this underground thing, aren't you? "

"Yep. "

"Then how do you know what his base looks like if you can't see it? "

Max chuckled. "That's right, you failed your Predictability In Villains courses, didn't you? An odd shape is standard for someone like Harley. And I'll bet you money that the code to get into his place is Harley Is Amazing, or something equally obvious and laden with blatant ego. Now, run along, Mr. Rose. Your mission awaits! " 


	2. Every diet needs some Irony

Two

As Drew rose to leave, Max called out to him. "Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you. You'll be having an extra partner on this mission. May's Blaziken will be helping you. "

The tall fire Pokemon nodded to Drew and Roselia. "Blaz I ken, ken Blazi Blaziken, " he vowed in an Austrian accent.

--Roselia gave her friend a cold look. Oh, for the love of Gyrados, you really are shameless, aren't you?  
Unless you want to do this all yourself, shut up. --

Translated- If he has harmed a hair on her head, I will scatter his entrails across the desert.

"Not unless I beat you to him. Now, let's go already! "

--SCENE CHANGE--

"Oh, for the love of- This is a 2000 dollar suit! " Drew yelled to no one in particular as he shoveled sand. "I am digging in 120 degree weather in the desert wearing a 2000 dollar suit! "

Roselia flopped down on the hot sand, tiny arms exhausted. "Rosel.. rose... "

Blaziken was faring the best of all, digging silently and furiously. Drew sighed, and began to walk over to Roselia.

"I swear, do they expect me to just stumble upon his base like- GYAH! "

The agent disappeared into the desert sands by means of a hidden tunnel, landing with a bump in front of a door that looked disturbingly like a Cacturn's eye.

"Rosel? "

"I'm fine, you guys. Come on down, but watch out, it's kind of tight down here. "

Roselia slid down smoothly, and was about to give her partner a hand up when Blaziken came flying down the tunnel, hitting Drew in the spine with his taloned feet.

The agent groaned then stood up, rubbing his back. "I swear... "

Drew examined the door again, spotting a keypad with letters on it. "Please enter code, " said a pleasant robotic female voice.

He pondered for a moment, then shrugged and typed in, just for grins, H-A-R-L-E-Y-IS-A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

"Entrance granted. "

"Damn it, I knew I should have studied that class more, " Drew swore as the three entered.

It was a typical, boring corridor, empty. Very empty.

"Rosa... " Roselia poked her head around the corner. Again, nothing but a few doors.

Drew walked down the hall, reading door labels as he passed. Control Room, Bathroom, No Room, Green Room, etc. Drew found at last the door he was looking for.

DA DOOM ROOM!

"Who names these things anyway ", muttered Drew as he flicked out the blue steel knife. "Keyhole locks, when will they learn? "

Drew heard someone humming from inside. Meh, I'm bound to trigger an alarm anyway, I may as well have fun while doing it.

"DISTRACTION! " He yelled as he threw the door open. The guy who was shaving jumped, and sliced a long strip of skin off of his jaw.

Drew was in a bedroom, with Cacturn posters, Cacturn wallpaper and carpet, and a manual for taking over the world on a table. Harley's room, he guessed. But the person inside was not Harley.

The guard glanced at the person who had bust in. He had green hair, sunglasses, and was wearing a suit that looked like it had been dragged over a couple continents.

"Where's your boss? "

"Where's YOUR boss? " The guy retorted, trying to bluff Drew. Bad idea.

The agent sighed, grabbed the guard's wrists to hold him still, and then nodded to Blaziken. The fiery bird sunk his taloned hands into the guard's sides, grabbing onto a couple ribs on each side.

"My girlfriend is in here and in danger, and if you don't tell me where she and your boss is, my little friend here will rip you in half. You have 10 seconds. "

"Downthehall,firstdoorontheleft,theacesscodeisharleyisamazing! PleaselemmegolemmegoIswearI'llstayrighthereandnotsoundanyalarms! " The guard was reduced to sobbing fitfully.

"Man, they don't hire guards like they used to. Whatever happened to loyalty? I swear... " Drew nodded to Blaziken, then to Roselia, "Stun Spore. "

Drew locked the door behind him, flicked his hair of out his face, and found the door the guard had told him about.

World Domination Room

Again, he typed in the code, and the door slid back with dramatic slowness. 


	3. The real driving force behind villians

Three

The real driving force behind every villian

May hung from the ceiling, in handcuffs and a red leather bikini. Her hair was up in a bun with silver pins in it, her typical bangs still evident.

"Curse you, Harley! "

"Oh, hush, my little prisoner! No amount of complaining will set you free! "

"I could care less about being a prisoner, but seriously, why the bikini? "

Harley shrugged. "That wasn't my idea, that was Bill's. " The random henchman winked, and May shivered.

"Now, for my dastardly plan! It's time for... THE MONOLOGUE!! "

"But.. What about World Domination or something? All villains want the world! "

"Peh! The real fun is rambling on and on endlessly and having no one stop me! Being oblivious to the inevitable fact that you are escaping behind my very back! That, my dear hatful little girl, is the REALLY good part about being a villain! "

Harley let himself give a good, long villain laugh. "And so is the laugh. Now, I begin! "

T--T

Drew had heard every last word. Well, I was hoping to go in guns blazing, but I'll take a free rescue when it comes my way. He walked quickly and quietly on the railing over to the beam where May hung from. He tugged the chain very lightly.

May felt the slight tug, and with the pretense of brushing the hair out of her face, glanced upwards. Her heart leapt at the sight of the cocky agent looking down on her. May kept a straight face as she was inched upwards, Harley completely oblivious of her.

"...and then, I shall turn the world into a great desert, and raise Cacturns... "

May continued her journey upwards, hauled up by Drew and Blaziken, the latter longing to permanently shut up the conceited man who continued his monologue below.

"...and find myself a little Cacturn spouse, and raise little Cacnea babies, then cheat on said spouse with Jessie, then on her with Jam- " He stopped to gasp for breath, at long last noticing the last of May vanishing into the darkness of the support beams.

"Hey! You interrupted my monologue! " He threw a hissy fist as Drew swiftly unlocked May's handcuffs.

"Took you long enough. " She gave him a wry look.

"Why can't you get kidnapped when I'm not on vacation? "

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Rose. Next time, I'll try to work my abductions around your schedule. How's next Friday work for you? "

Drew hopped up, pulled May to her feet, then pushed her swiftly backwards as a laser blasted through the beam where she had stood. "Sorry, Friday doesn't work for me. I'll have to get back to you, ok? "

Roselia sent down a powerful Stun Spore, then Blaziken leaped across the growing divide to join his mistress as Drew nodded to her.

"Meet you in five. South end. "

Drew and his grass pokemon dashed along the falling beam. "Roseli? " She panted.

"They'll make it, I'm sure. "

--

Drew glanced at his watch that told him everything from what he had for breakfast a week ago to the probability that he got out of there alive as well as the time. The answers were turkey bacon and eggs, 36, and the fact that May was 42 seconds behind schedule.

He looked up at the faintest sound in the wall behind him, then sidestepped calmly as the section of wall he had been standing on front of exploded via Blaze Kick.

Blaziken looked distinctly disappointed that Drew had dodged. The agent brushed a suspicious looking ash off of his sleeve, sending up a dirt cloud the size of Texas.

"Late, I see. Stopped to torch the roses? "

The fire pokemon's reply was muffled by the sound of Harley's troops storming the nearby hallways, searching for them a bit too close for comfort.

All four swiftly found a door, opened it, and dashed inside. Instinctively they froze.

Harley chuckled from outside. "That's the first time anyone trying to escape from me has locked themselves in the jail. "

"Blazi, blaz, I ken ken Blaze! " Blaziken screeched. There's no use in translating what he said, because it would have to be censored.

"You said it, " Drew stated with a sigh of frustration. Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Peachy. 


	4. Breaking a cliche and a few bones

Four

Breaking a cliche... and a few bones

"...Oh, come on! " Drew growled. "Harley! I swear, when I get out of this I'm going to- Ooof! "

A hand reached through the door, waving the baseball bat he had clunked Drew over the head with to stun him. Guards swarmed inside, slapping handcuffs on the three agents they saw, not noticing May slipping silently up the brick wall using her long hair pins as climbing utensils.

"Rosel, rosa roselia!! " The grass pokemon cried out when she saw Harley cruelly kick Drew. The guards drew back into the shadows again to let their master have some fun with his prisoners.

"You... you interrupted my monologue. You will pay for that. "

Drew spit blood into Harley's face, retorting, "Bring it on. Can't be too hard for a woman like you to beat me up while I'm handcuffed and surrounded by your minions. "

"Nope, it isn't. " He laughed, unrestrained by minor things such as a need to prove his toughness or basic hygiene.

Roselia coughed as he leaned in close, breathing on her as he continued his tongue lashing.

"And to think, you're the best the agency has to offer. "

"Blazi blaz iken!! " The fire Pokemon screamed a few more insults and profanities.

T--T

Drew groaned as he found himself in the same position May was in a few minutes ago, sans the bikini. "Not very adaptive, I see. "

"Shut up! It's your fault for getting captured so quickly. I was just about to start building the prison of DOOM! Now, you'll just have to settle for lots and lots of angsty people with guns to protect you. "

Roselia looked up quickly, then turned her gaze back to the ground, face blank. Drew noticed however, and suppressed a smirk.

"Are they male guards? "

Harley's eyes narrowed. "Yes... why? "

"No reason. We must have really caught you off guard, huh? You didn't even think about the effect of a little touch of feminine charm would have on a bunch of lonely rejected men... "

There was a cracking noise, then Harley slumped to the floor, stunned by May's rabbit punch. She held her knife like hair pins to the limp mans throat.

"Let them go, or Harley gets it! "

"You can't do anything! You're the damsel in distress! " Creepy Bill again.

"I'm not the one who's tired up right now, moron! Cliches are meant to be broken! Now, how do I free them? "

"Hit the big green button that says 'Release Prisoners'. "

Drew bit back a laugh. "May, your blonde roots are showing... "

"Shut up, or I leave you in those handcuffs. "

"Whoza.. Hey.. Why is everything all blurry... " Harley was coming around, and May hit the big pulsing green button quickly.

Drew, Roselia and Blaziken hit the water with a yell of shock and cold, then swam ungracefully to the shore.

Harley, now fully awake but frozen with fear stared at them.

"But.. what about my vengeance... "

"How about we take a rain check for when you get out of prison? Are you free in 150 years? " Drew nodded to Blaziken, and the five were surrounded by blinding flames, bright as the sun. When the fires went out, they were gone.

Drew flicked Harley's phone out of the man's pocket, shuddering at the wallpaper, then tossed it to Roselia. "Make the call. "

She gave him a cold look, and held up her flowers. "Right. No fingers. Ok, then, give it back here. "

His fingers flew over the keypad in a blur, having dialed the number more times than he could count.

"Talk, " growled Max on the other line.

"One super villain, ready for jail! How fast can you get here? "

"Um... how's an hour sound to you? "

"Terrible. "

"Great! See you in two hours! " Max hung up.

"What- Oh, curse your brother, May! " He snapped the phone shut. "Ok, let's try the whole escaping thing again. "

"Ahhhh! He licked me! " May's was squirming as Harley began licking her hand, trying to escape. Blaziken promptly closed his taloned hands around Harley's neck, raising him off the ground in Darth Vader fashion.

"Blazi blaz ken iken blaz? " Shall I take out the trash?

"Put him down, as much as I would like him to get his just desserts. We can't kill him. Damn politics. " Drew waved his hand. Harley fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Stun Spore, Roselia, please. " In a flash of golden dust, Harley lay still on the ground. Blaziken threw the limp body over his shoulder with an expression of disgust, then the four heroes continued down the passageway. 


	5. Doom, super sized!

Five

Doom, super sized!

"Your brother is such a pain. " Drew upped his pace to a light jog, swinging Roselia up onto his shoulder as he passed her.

"It's not as if I picked my family, Mr. Rose, " she replied, emphasizing his name with sarcasm, "and he cares a lot about me. "

"Soooo that's why he hates me. I'm not good enough for you, huh? " His tone was cheerful and careless, although he was inwardly seething.

"No one will ever be good enough for me in his eyes, Drew. Besides, I love you. "

"I would kiss you right not, but it's not plot convenient. " He laughed as he did a running kick into a guard's face. "I only get to kiss you at the end. "

May pouted, then ran her knives into a random spine. "If you say so, Mr. Rose. "

Blaziken skidded to a stop, Harley's limp form thumping him in the back from the momentum. "Ken blaziken blaz? " Does anyone know where's we're going?

Roselia gave the fire bird an icy look. "Rosa rosel rose. Rose, roselia rosaros. " Heroes never get lost. Now, turn left up here Drew.

They rounded the corner, coming across a tall ladder in a tube thing. (You've all seen one. ) Drew stepped to the side, bowing gracefully.

"Ladies first! "

May stayed where she was. "I'm waiting, Mr. Rose. "

"Ha. Ha. HA. Just go. " May flipped her hair in imitation of Drew, then began to climb. "Eyes front, pervert. I'm still in a bikini. "

"I'm going last, you know. Behind Blaziken, and trust me, I will not be looking up. "

Roselia followed, struggling slightly due to her flowers, Blaziken behind her all the way, supporting her and preventing her from falling. Harley, having suddenly recovered, hit the fire bird in the spine, causing him to drop the green suited man.

Drew was knocked cleanly off the ladder by Harley, falling down the 20 feet to the bottom and cushioning his fall. "Oh, for the love of Lugia, get THE HELL OF ME! "

Harley giggled disturbingly. "Now, I make my escape! " He got up, started to run, then fell down as Drew yanked his ankles out from under him. "Grrr, leggo! "

Drew pinned him to the floor. "You fight like a girl. " Harley's manicured hand snaked up and grabbed a hunk of green hair. Drew gasped, then dug his elbow into Harley's throat.

"Uncle uncle uncle! " Drew released him, and yelped as he was kicked in the face. "Bye bye now, Mr. Rose! "

Harley cackled, and dashed down a side corridor, Drew cursing silently as he followed Harley. The man dodged around corners, skidding and slipping on the newly waxed floors, swearing under his breath as the legs went out from underneath him and he slid into to wall. Drew slipped disgracefully as well, Harley clambering over him to vanish suddenly into a hidden tunnel.

Drew sighed quietly, and crawled up the tunnel, bracing his back against the sides as the tunnel became vertical. He hit his head on an overhead panel, typed in the entry code once more, and found himself in the desert at last.

The sudden bright sunlight took Drew off guard, and that was all Harley needed. With a flourish, he slammed his hand on a rock.

"Ha ha- OWW! Wrong rock! Maybe it's this one- AUUUGH! No. Let's try this one. " At long last, he hit the right concealed button. There was a sudden rumbling in the sand below Drew's feet, and the man leaped up and dashed a short distance away as something huge, metal and green rose out of the earth.

"So that's why the door was shaped like an eye... "

A three story tall Cacturn robot towered above Drew, blotting out the sun partially and causing Harley's ego to inflate. The green suited man raised one hand, then lowered it again, the robot imitating his movements.

"See? Motion sensors. Don't worry, you'll die quickly...enough! But, I must say, I'm robbing you of an open casket funeral. "

Drew smirked, then pounced, grabbing Harley's fist and repeatedly shoving it in his face. "Why you keep hitting yourself, huh? Why? "

"Aggg! Quit it! Stop that! " The robot dutifully began to beat the tar out of it's face, much to Drew's amusement and Harley's obvious dismay. He hissed, and waved his hand. A robotic arm swooped through the air, narrowly missing Drew several times before at last finding it's mark.

The agent flew through the air, hitting the sand painfully and skidding across the sand until a rock halted his progress. Drew groaned, and raised himself up on one arm as Harley cackled once more.

"Now, for the epic battle! " 


	6. Nothing says I love you like a spy spoof

Six

Nothing says I love you like a spy spoof

Drew coughed, winced slightly, and spat out sand. "Bring it, " he stated, eyes flashing emerald fire.

"Pity you won't live to regret that! " Harley laughed before bringing the robot's fist with earth shattering force on the spot where the agent had been laying. But Drew was running, sand spurting up behind him, drawing his gun knife. He fired a couple shots, then a metal fist whooshed by him, the wind knocking him down and the metal arms painfully knocking his weapon out of his grasp.

Drew bit back a few choice curses, jumping swiftly in the air as the arm whizzed by again, this time landing on it and dashing up the arm. He got about halfway to the elbow before the opposite arm brushed him off like a mosquito.

Harley laughed, a shill and immensely irritating noise. "I'll continue my monologue now. "

He cleared his throat meaningfully, still swiping at Drew absently as the agent ran for his life. "Hear that sound? It is the sound of inevitability. "

"How DARE you quote the Matrix! " Drew panted as he ran up a rock spur, back flipping off the top and charging Harley, landing a few nasty blows before the giant Cacturn swatted him to the side.

The agent half skidded, half rolled across the sand before another craggy boulder stopped his progress. He heard several somethings crack, then decided to switch tactics.

Harley smirked coldly as Drew groaned, then flopped back down onto the sand, spitting out blood. "Tired, my little friend? "

Drew kept his eyes down, thinking fast. "Ah well. Take a break, and enjoy the fun. " Harley flipped a switch on his suit, and a metal panel slid back on the robot Cacturn's belly. May could been seen inside, palms on the glass, mouth screaming silent insults as Blaziken repeatedly Blaze-kicked the sides of their Prison and Roselia was subtly storing energy.

Drew watched his friend's demeanor change, then he could make out the water filtering in quickly. "I though they'd be very thirsty after being in this desert and all. You, I'll let live to take a message back to your little friends. Harley shall reign supreme. "

The purple haired man stalked over to where Drew still lay on the sand, blood oozing from his side. "Aren't you going to watch the show, my little friend? Enjoy your last look at May, because a player like you will never settle down. You can't defeat the cliche. " Behind him, May pounded at the glass, bubbles forcing themselves out of her mouth.

Drew's hand had been franticly grappling in the sand for a weapon this entire conversation, and when his hands touched his salvation, he couldn't resist one last remark.

"I'll break this one, and kill you myself. " He jumped up, and swung the shovel with all his might at Harley's head. There was a sickening snap, and Harley stared at his marvelous creation before his sight died, and Drew caught his collar quickly. He forced the corpse into a sitting position, a sudden Solar beam erupting from the now seated Cacturn's belly.

Roselia stumbled towards the victorious Drew, waving her partner over weakly with her rose hands. "Roee roseeel... "

Drew was instantly kneeling beside May's limp form, pushing down on her chest with desperation. "No... don't you dare die on me now. "

May coughed up water weakly. "Blaziken..? "

Behind her, there was a cloud of steam as the fire bird emptied his lungs with a few barking cries. "Bla-hey-hey-haze! " I-I'll be fine.

A platoon of vehicles suddenly whipped around the corner. Max leaped out of the head one, waving over a few medics.

"What about the PPP? "

"They figured that a gigantic robot capable of world destruction would disturb the desert pokemon more than a few vehicles. Let's go, Mr. Rose. If we hurry, you can enjoy the last two hours of your paid vacation! "

"Thanks, " Drew stated dryly.

T--T

Max leaned back his chair, hitting the speaker phone button. "I got to say, Mr. Rose, I had my doubts about you a few times. "

On the other side of the line, Drew mildly sipped on a glass of ice water in his apartment. "Really? That's funny, because I've had doubts about you too. Tell me, do you really have a social life? "

"Shut up. " Max's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "Must you always be a pain in the neck? "

"Just returning the favor. " Drew laughed lightly.

"Hah, hah. Your bonus check is in the mail. "

Drew's emerald gaze slid over to a figure leaning in his doorway. "Is that so? I think I've already got my bonus. "

Max froze, then whipped out his cell phone, speed dialing May. On Drew's end of the phone, he distinctly heard a verse from 'White and Nerdy' playing faintly in the background. May's ringtone for him. His jaw dropped.

"No... I swear Drew, I'm going to freaking- "

Drew snapped the phone shut with his hand, cutting off Max's tirade abruptly.

"It would a lot easier to resist taunting him if he didn't leave around big shiny buttons for me to push. "

May crossed her arms, faking a frown. "Be nice. You're going to have to get along now. " She slid her hand behind Drew's neck, diamond ring catching the light. "I think it's the end now, Drew. "

He smiled, resting his forehead against hers. "Please...call me Mr. Rose. "

T--T

Roselia sighed as Blaziken typed the last few words and copied the whole into an e-mail for May. Behind them, Drew stirred, rolled, and fell abruptly onto the floor. "Ayah? Oww... "

Roselia slammed her rose hand down on the send button, and drug Blaziken into the closet, covering his mouth with her hand. Drew sat up groggily, hauling himself upright with the help of the desk.

"What is this...? Mr. Rose? Shonen-ai? Harley?! "

Blaziken's eyes watered, pollen from Roselia ticking his nose. Suddenly, he sneezed, Roselia yanking her hand out of the way just in time as a huge fireball exploded out of the closet door to dissipate in the open air.

Drew stared at the pokemon through the hole in the door, then pointed to the floor beside him. "Come here. NOW. "

T--T

May paused in her reading of poems when a message popped up. You have new mail from Drew. Read now?

May's eyes grew wider and wider as she read the story, at last gasping at the note at the end.

XXOO From your Mr. Rose.

You free tonight?

T--T

Drew drug Blaziken along the hallways by the fire birds wrist, Roselia following him with her head down but her eyes dancing with mischief. "I swear, Roselia, once Blaziken is back with May, we will have quite the conver- huh? "

May's door flew open in front of him before he could knock. "Oh, Drew, that was the most amazing story I've ever read! Of course I'm free tonight! Do you really feel that way about me? You must! " She grabbed his shirt collar, planting a kiss on his shocked face before dragging him inside.

"We'll talk later, " he gasped before the door shut in the pokemon's faces. Roselia sighed happily, and Blaziken turned to face her.

"Blaze iken blaz blaz?! " I though you said it was a prank.

"Ro...roseli? " Um...gotcha?

The fire bird paused, then lightly punched her in the shoulder and churred, a birdy laugh. "Ken blaziken zi. " Yeah, I guess you did. Let's go grab some Leichi berries. I'm starving.

T--T

END.

At last! Lavae wants you to press him, do not deny him! Thanks for reading!

Saro, out! 


End file.
